Overheard (At the Red Lobster)


“Grandpa don’t take no sloppy oral”

“I specifically ordered the swamp vittles"

“Scampi makes me do the bad thing”

 “Let’s exacerbate the situation”


“Sorry I’m late, I got raped behind the Barnes & Noble”


“I dare you to put this scallop in your chozo”

“Where do you see our relationship going in the next fifteen minutes?”

“Did I dip my penis in the melted butter? What do you think?”


“Relax: the crab cakes are tax deductible”

“Space and time are just illusions, Kayla”

 “I suspect the waitress wants my essence”

 “It’s like all my friends stopped calling at the same time”

"I love YOU- the slop is just bonus”