My Christmas


My Christmas starts on December 24th and carries on through New Year’s Day- the Christmas corridor- and it’s a week of festivity & celebration instead of the disposable explosion that is currently Christmas Day. Obviously the traditional food is substituted with pizza served buffet-style: every topping, every variety known to mankind. Guests are encouraged to imbibe & get high, the days filled with roving parties that move from one location to another as families do the Christmas crawl: meeting neighbors & other families, distant relatives getting to know each other better, catching up, making plans, playing party games & enjoying every minute.

No gifts. Well, only for children under sixteen. They get toys & games & whatever tech device they desire that year. The rest of us don’t have to waste time shopping for socks, or sweaters, or any of the horseshit that gets wrapped & unwrapped and tossed on the pile. Grudges are buried. Fences are mended. Confessions are spoken. Romances temporarily rekindled. And the week is spent as a vacation from your own life, a sabbatical from reality to purify your senses & leave you ready to resume with a fresh perspective of what really matters, and how strong you really are.

The music will be Vince Guaraldi’s Charlie Brown album, Johnny Mathis & Boston Pops. If you play "Feliz Navidad" you will be shot in the face. Oh, and you know those beautiful lights & decorations that people yank down on the 26th? They stay up until Groundhog Day, lighting our winter nights & keeping us warm when the world is at its coldest. You’re welcome.


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