Stop looking at my crotch, ladies- my eyes are up here

I move once a week just to piss off my mailman

Testicles grow back, right?

Figure-skating would be much more interesting if the audience was armed with hunting rifles

Tsunamis are devastating, but you’ll never boogie board better

Duck sex is surprisingly provocative

If I wanted my heart warmed I’d buy a blowtorch

The early bird gets the worm… and McMuffin diarrhea

July’s lemonade tastes like April’s Tang

If dentists have the highest suicide rate how come mine is still alive?

Wild weekends start with magic markers

A part of me wants to make love to you... the penis part


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