“Where have you been- I’ve been here for fifteen minutes.”
“ELVIS!!!”
“White trash.”
“That’s where I been. With Elvis.”
“You were with Elvis? What the fuck are you talking about?”
"I just saw him. Him. Elvis Presley.”
“Would you sit down? People are looking...”
“Better?”
“Where were you?”
“I saw him. Jesus Christ. I saw Elvis Presley.”
“Which one? Wait- you saw Elvis or Jesus?”
“Jesus is dead you idiot. I saw Elvis. The real one.”
“You saw the real Elvis? What did he say?”
“He said ‘ELVIS!!!’”
“He said ‘Elvis’?!?’ That doesn’t sound like him...”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, why would he say his own name? It’s too obvious.”
“No, he said it in a different way. He nodded and said “Elvis!” like how you would say it when you first arrived. He was confident he knew who he was....”
“I know who I am but I don’t walk around saying ‘Billy!!!’”
“Because nobody cares about Billy. So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying it doesn’t sound right...”
“That’s the way it happened.”
“And where did you see him?”
“At the sushi place. I was on my way out and he was just walking in. He was with this beautiful blonde.”
“But why would he say his own name?”
“Ego.”
“Ego? He fakes his own death, disappears for 35 years and then he comes out of hiding for salmon and avocado? And he introduces himself to a total stranger by saying his own name?”
“There’s a lot you don’t know.”
“You know... I think I really like sushi. Like really like it- like I’m not just pretending anymore.”
“Yeah. Me too. And it didn’t happen right away.”
“Sushi is good. What do you say we stop off at Hokkaido for a little midnight snack?”
“I would say great minds think alike.”
“ELVIS!!!”
“Where?!?”
“I'm just sayin...”
I think we're at that point in the relationship where the
next natural step would be to devour each other's genitals
