Wonderings

I think we're at that point in the relationship where the next natural step would be to devour each other's genitals

Did You Know? Gwyneth Paltrow doesn't shit

Spent the weekend teaching my dog to say awesome

This town has been coconuts since the prison break

Virtual Reality really seems to have stalled at the "giant helmet" stage

The nuns call me Soulpatch

Just ate my weight in Combos… please dial 911

You can judge the awkward at a birthday party by the number of candle jokes

Get this- the upstairs butler thinks I'm spoiled!

Parents of America, please relax: Your missing children were probably just raped and murdered

The clitoris is a myth, right?