Tough Lunches of the 21st Century (Wildcard)

Date: November 5th, 2001
Location: Corner of Atlantic & Tresser Boulevards

Blindly following an entry in my appointment book made in unknown handwriting, I sat on a bench with a schizophrenic vagrant named Mungo Jerry and prepared Fluffernutter sandwiches for us both. The brisk scent of urine made this lunch a very visceral experience, and Mungo was less violent than I expected, attempting murder only twice by lunging at my throat with a spork. The rest of the time we drank Hawaiian Punch and sang folk songs. Mungo showed me his teeth, and after he returned them to his pocket I said, “Friendship.”

“Kangaroo pussy!” he howled back, but I knew this was his way of saying, “Same.”