Let's Fuck With Pizza Hut

[The following is a transcript of a phone call I placed on May 29th, 2o15]

Pizza Hut: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut, this is Erica- what can I get for you?

Sick City: What’s good tonight?

Um, good tonight?

SC: What’s fresh and exciting? Surprise me!

(dead silence)

PH: All the pizza is fresh. Pizza.

SC: To tell you the truth I don’t even know if I feel like pizza. Sell me! Convince me. That it’s a good-

PH: Do you want to order a pizza?

SC: What do you want on that pizza?

PH: What do I want?

SC: You sound like a pepperoni girl... do you believe in pepperoni?

[long pause]

PH: Yeah, we have pepperoni.

SC: What do you like? What do you like on your pepperoni pizza?

PH: My pepperoni pizza?

SC: What turns you on? Sexually? Do you like to be-

PH: This call is all kinds of uncomfortable. I don’t think-

SC: Can I spank you and call you Katie?

PH: Oh my god…


SC: Hello? Hello?!? Katie, are you there?

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