Roses are red, violets are blue, if you don’t start sleeping
with me I’m gonna bang the babysitter
All the cool vegetarians hang out at the Burger King
Somedays I pour shampoo down the toilet just to spite my
psychiatrist
Just because you dive off the gondola doesn’t mean the date
is over
Can you hold the cole slaw? And choke to death on it?
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is refusing to return my calls
I trust Hispaniards… just not these Hispaniards…
I don’t like to hit sock puppets so consider this your final
warning
Deja Jew: the sneaking suspicion that you’ve seen this Rabbi
before
The rapist is gone... now get back to sleep!
Chocolate mousse is just pudding with a French accent
Just promise me when I die that you won't let Morgan Freeman do the voice-over...
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