Date-rape is devastating… but at least you get a free dinner
I have to confess: going to the morgue gives me the heebie-jeebies
Born on this date: Johnathan Swissarmy, inventor of the legendary knife
"Beginner's Luck" goes a long way in neurosurgery
Remember those grisly circus murders? I was never seriously considered a suspect
According to my proctologist, there IS a wrong way to eat a Reese's
I put a QR bumper sticker on the back of my car just to cause traffic accidents
You think Juan Valdez ever gets a coffee break?
These Marvinburgers are delicious… I just wish Marvin could have been here to enjoy them...
I bought my dog a tuxedo so he could shit the floor in style
Forgot my safe word... can somebody untie me?