Date-rape is
devastating… but at least you get a free dinner
I have to confess: going to the morgue gives me the heebie-jeebies
Born on this date: Johnathan Swissarmy, inventor of the
legendary knife
"Beginner's Luck" goes a long way in neurosurgery
Remember those grisly circus murders? I was never seriously
considered a suspect
According to my proctologist, there IS a wrong way to eat a
Reese's
I put a QR bumper sticker on the back of my car just to
cause traffic accidents
You think Juan Valdez ever gets a coffee break?
I’m not sure what ‘uno
momento’ means, but I think these Spanish people are insulting me
These Marvinburgers are delicious… I just wish Marvin could
have been here to enjoy them...
I bought my dog a tuxedo so he could shit the floor in style
Forgot my safe word... can somebody untie me?
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