A Minute with Jigawatt Jerry


Hi, my name is Jerry. My friends call me Jigawatt bc I’m really bright & not because of that time I stuck my finger in the light socket and sizzled for like forty-five minutes before my friends finally stopped laughing and pulled me away and resuscitated me and got my heart beating again & stuff. Wait, what was I talking about again?

Sometimes I smoke marijuana but not often: 6-7 times a day unless you count Fridays & weekends which I don’t. It’s not like smoking weed is my life or anything I just got this weed tattoo bc I like the color (the color is green) My hobbies include watching TV, reading comic books, & microwaving things that aren’t food. I been thinking about going somewhere sometime, or you know, doing something, but most likely I fall asleep in front of Three’s Company reruns and it’s like, when I wake up? It’s the next day and so problem solved at least for the time being most likely.

Do you know something? Because I sure don’t. That building next to me? It used to be some kind of store like a toilet store or some other store, some other store that’s like a toilet store? Now it’s a Taco Bell it sounds funny but they give me ten percent off day-old Gorditas just because I’m their neighbor so the spirit of America is pretty much alive and well in my eyes. Also do you have any Visine?

Remember that girl, that crazy girl who was always threatening to commit suicide? She killed herself. Sometimes you just never know, like that time that old guy went crazy at the convenience store and opened all the sodas and the cops came and shot the guy and I had to clean up all the soda? Did I forget to mention I was working at the convenience store at the time? Most likely.

A lot of times on my days off, which are pretty frequent because I’m unemployed, I come down to the beach and think deep thoughts like, “where did all this sand come from?” and “I wonder if I have enough money for Chinese food…” I don’t so if you could lend me some dollars that could be boss radical.

My belief is that life is for self-reflection and for seeing the beautiful things in all the nasty things which can make the nasty things turn into beautiful things and vice-versa most likely but who’s counting? I have a headache now from all this thinking & I need to lay down-

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