Is there nothing more romantic than pulverizing a vulva?

Children are not dogs, and yet they seem to enjoy eating from bowls on the floor...

Some days I use the toaster just to spite my microwave

I hang out at the IHOP, but only to be seen

Has science figured out yet what Louie Armstrong was leaking?

The moon landing is the biggest scam since the invention of the Continental Breakfast

The best way to start the day is with a cup of coffee and a phone call from James Earl Jones

Your magic show was fantastic, but I'm gonna need my spleen back


I’ve been six times ‘round the galaxy but I’ve never seen an ugly woman on a sailboat

Marriage is just slavery without the suntan

The world is your oyster, so shut up and start shucking!


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