Great Lies For Grandma



“The mind is gone but I find she’s still spry!”


“A nice gentleman has been dating your Grandma… carbon-dating”


“Bumblebees petrify me also”

“Her face isn’t melting- she just needs sleep”

“I enjoy the brisk scent of urine”


“They revoked her driver’s license but the motorcyclist caused the accident”


“She knows the cats are gone- she just keeps the scratching posts for nostalgia"


“This hysterectomy should get the stuff they missed the third time”


“LAW & ORDER IS MUCH BETTER WHEN IT’S LOUD ENOUGH TO SHATTER GLASS!!!”


“She’s on the e-mail… she’s such a pistol!”


“I can barely see the spaghetti stains”


“Everyone falls in the toilet”


“Pedro really does look a lot like Sinatra”

“We thought you sat in soup”


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