“The mind is gone but I find she’s still spry!”
“A nice gentleman has been dating your Grandma… carbon-dating”
“Bumblebees petrify me also”
“Her face isn’t melting- she just needs sleep”
“I enjoy the brisk scent of urine”
“They revoked her driver’s license but the motorcyclist caused the accident”
“She knows the cats are gone- she just keeps the scratching posts for nostalgia"
“This hysterectomy should get the stuff they missed the third time”
“LAW & ORDER IS MUCH BETTER WHEN IT’S LOUD ENOUGH TO SHATTER GLASS!!!”
“She’s on the e-mail… she’s such a pistol!”
“I can barely see the spaghetti stains”
“Everyone falls in the toilet”
“Pedro really does look a lot like Sinatra”
“We thought you sat in soup”
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