...and that's how I became President of Mexico
Somedays I slap my kid just for the crack of it
A voting booth is like a slot machine with no chance of winning
I heard through the grapevine that you're getting married... to a raging alcoholic
It’s a wonderful pre-afterlife...
I take my time with the menu, because life is short and I’m an illiterate
I’d love to come to your party but my coven meets that night
Balconies are a great place to parade your Haitian mistress
I won’t be truly happy until all my schoolteachers are reunited in Hell
You can’t cry over spilled milk... but you can slap the hell out of the cow
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