The Films Of Egg Begley, Jr. (Part 2)

Owen Marshall: Counselor At Law
“Owen Marshall: Counselor At Law” was a show about a man named Owen Marshall, who was a Counseler At Law. Egg plays Howard, the backward bailiff who accidentally fires his gun in a crowded courtroom, paralyzing a paralegal and killing a Federal judge. Egg spends the rest of the episode hiding under his bed, until Owen Marshall talks him out with the promise of sherbert. TV Guide called this “an episode to avoid.” Out of order, Egg.

Egg plays Attendant, a demanding role with a single, harrowing line of dialogue: “He’s in the blue Continental, Mr. Walters.” Later in the episode Egg is seen leaning up against a brick wall with a toothpick in his mouth, perhaps the definitive image of Egg as a young rebel. Or else he had something stuck in his teeth.

Evil Roy Slade
Egg does it again in a TV movie that had audiences laughing, slightly, before they turned it off and went to bed. There’s a certain magic whenever Egg plays a cowboy… maybe it’s because he’s such a natural. With his lanky build and Nordic good looks, Egg fits the Old West like a six-gun fits its holster. Yee-haw, Egg… yee-haw!


Egg landed the much-coveted role of Jimmy Sanders, a blind boy who helps wheelchair-bound Raymond Burr solve the case of the missing blackberry pie. Egg and Burr got along famously, mixing each other’s chocolate milk during breaks between takes and singing public domain songs in call-and-response style. Producers banned him from the show for the rest of its run. London Bridge is falling down, Egg…

Happy Days
Egg WAS Hank, regardless of what the critics at The New York Times, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Magazine, Washington Post, or TV Guide had to say in their scathing reviews. So what if Hank sodomizes Richie Cunningham and The Fonz during an intiation ceremony, all the while forcing Ralph Malph to watch? It was a role and Egg played it. End of story, morning glory.

Who says you can’t go home again? Egg, among others. Here he plays Tom Peeples, the Cockfighter’s Understudy, waiting in the wings, amongst the sweat and feathers and tobacco spittle, ready to bring his cock out if his master’s cock should fail to perform… It doesn’t, though, and Egg does nothing in this picture.

Starsky & Hutch
Egg plays Harv Schwab, a ghetto-wise streetbeater with two fingers in heaven and a toe in the 7-Up dispenser. Sample dialogue includes: “Ain’t no thang,” “Gimme jus’ e’nuff to see Jesus,” and “Wiggy figure, Mrs. Epstein.” Egg ate chicken and waffles to prepare for the role, but in his heart he lusted after flapjacks. Leggo Egg’s Eggo…

Battlestar Galactica
Deep Space Egg plays Sgt. Greenbean, a tactical officer on the bridge of a starship, spotting Cylons, obliterating intruders and keeping his gaseous emissions to himself. The character of Sgt. Greenbean, a fan favorite, was disintegrated after Egg asked producers for more money and a contract extension. Foul ball, Egg… foul ball…

The New Adventures Of Wonder Woman
Egg played Harold Farnum, a curious villain who tried to destroy Wonder Woman by dancing her to death. (Didn’t take.) Egg was fired after producers caught him spying on Lynda Carter through a peephole in her dressing room, pleasuring himself and singing the show’s theme song. Egg at his scrambled best.


A TV movie about Elvis Presley… and guess who plays the lead?!? Kurt Russell. You didn’t think it was Egg, did you? Let’s get serious. Our favorite ova plays DJ Fontana, a Mississippi disc jockey who refuses to play Elvis’ records because he claims The King drank out of his Coke bottle without asking permission first. Egg has left the building…


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