I just replaced the pine cone with bacon and BAM: the birth of the bacon, egg and cheese!

Men have periods, too... we just have the decency not to complain

If you want to be Governor you have to start acting gubernatorial

There's not a girl on Earth who wouldn't bang the Jolly Green Giant

Bad news, sir: the native girls are beginning to show

I 'm pretty sure that wheelchair people are faking it just for the Drive-Thru privileges

How strenuously would you object to having your daughter join us in bed tonight?

I’m being sued by my attorney, who assures me we have a really good shot at winning

Just a quick heads-up: If you show me pictures of your children I will pretend to be blind

It’s fun to screw with people who have obbsesive-commpulsive disorder

Did You Know? Herpes counts as a birthday present


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