I guess that's why they call it ejaculation

That woman in our bedroom dressed like a cowgirl...? Um, she's a nurse

Did you ever notice how Chinese guys HATE having their houses burnt down?

"I’m sorry, Your Honor, but Community Service sounds like a real drag..."

If you would die for me why don’t you?

Turns out “Take Your Daughter To Work Day” is not a good idea for wardens

I enjoy dining al fresco in Little Italy, and not just because of the possibility of getting whacked

The good news is you're the world's first blind neurosurgeon... the bad news is that's a meatloaf

Bad news, Captain- the machine is beginning to expect the cream

I hate to wake you, Grandma, but it's a sin to waste a Viagra

There’s a lion in the tent but I’ll be goddamned if he gets my Fig Newtons


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